Tuesday, May 1, 2012

#4~You Should Know...

 Some people have a high tolerance for idiots.

I am not one of them.

Last week, my email account was hacked. Someone thought it would be a hoot to hijack my account and send every single one of my contacts different links to various sites. 

With names like "funpics.com" and "hotmamas.com", I can only imagine what kind of sites they are.

While I was frettin' and fussin' over this, my Mister said, "Don't worry. Anyone who knows you will know that you didn't send those out."

Then I reminded him that most of my contacts don't really know me all that well. 

So here's what I think you should know about me.

1. I hate alarm clocks. Not just hate, but despise. If the inventor of alarm clocks were still alive, I would wish him a life filled with hemorrhoids and pimples. In fact, I hate all clocks. Life is pretty simple; eat when you're hungry, sleep when you're tired, get up when you wake up, pee when you feel the urge...

As long as you get up first.

2. I am forgetful. Here's a recent conversation I had with an old school friend...

Her: "Ya, I heard you had a whole tribe of kids. So which ones are yours?"

Me: "All of them."

Her: "No really. Which ones are the bios and which ones are the adopted?"

Four of my children were with me at the time and they really don't care for titles. Unless of course those titles sound regal.

Me: "I don't remember."

Her: "No seriously. Which ones?"

Me: "Seriously, I don't remember."

Next time I may ask if her teeth were always that crooked.

Ya, it felt like that.

3. People with food allergies are apparently labeled as starving. If I have to hear just one more time, "What do you eat?", I will scream. 


Life does not revolve around bread alone. Lately it has been happily revolving around yogurt, cheese, salads, and wine. And I'm okay with that.

4. I always wanted to be French. Because I hate to shave. I also like to wear tie-dyed long skirts, so I guess that means I wanted to be a hairy French hippie.

5. My nose is pierced. It has been pierced for the last 5 years. I think noses are strange looking out there all by themselves, and because I think a Christmas tree looks so much better with lights and ornaments, I decorated my nose. 

6. I'm afraid of quite a few things. Heights, free-falling out of an airplane at 30,000 feet, rockets, and needles. Hence the real reason for #5. For my 40th birthday I decided to conquer one fear. 

The free-falling and rockets weren't gonna happen.

7. I live in the country because I am not a town person. I like wide, open spaces. I like to grow my own food. I like to see the freezers full and no bare spots in the cupboards. This does not mean that I am a Doomsday Prepper. Or Mormon. 

I'm just me.

8. I'm also extremely cheap frugal. My new haircut is courtesy of me. Because I didn't want to pay another $35 for a trim. And I had a moment of frustration while holding sharp scissors. Which led to another moment of frustration. Which led to bangs.Which led to the removal of said scissors from my hands.Which led to a rather aggressive eyebrow- plucking marathon...

I'm conditioning myself to be around other idiots. 

Maybe they'll let me be their leader.

Oooo...a title...

Hey kids!☺

If you received an email from kimberlyj9, please do not open the link!


Wonderwoman said...

Kim - you make me laugh! Love the bangs. I cut my own hair too for the same reason.

Grace said...

I'm sorry that happened to you. Some people just need to have red hot pincers applied strategically.

I feel the same way about clocks. I hate them all, but alarm clocks, especially.

Mountain Home Quilts said...

I think you've summed it all up pretty well here. I love you. :)

Susan said...

I hate it when that happens. And I LOVE the bangs! And hiss-boo on the 'friend' who insists on labeling your kids. I mean, they are your kids, just that.

Lady Hawke said...

LOL! My husband and I are laughing out loud at your antics today. We love reading your adventures. But my husband has a question. Is that "hotmamas.com or .org" He just wanted to make sure his friends don't go to it. LOL. I love the bangs. Have cut my hair in the past, too. May again in the future if the economy keeps tanking.

Candy C. said...

I'm glad you are "just you!" Wouldn't want you any other way! :)