Babbling Brunette...Oxymorons

Sometimes, I have a hard time falling asleep.

There's a lot going on in my head.

Forget the blankie, I sleep with a notepad and pencil.

It can get dangerous.

Thought I had it under control.

Then my dear husband sent me this...

Oxymoron's

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is "out of whack"? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do tug boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game"

when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do overlook and oversee mean the opposite things?

15. Why is phonics not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control

when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags

and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels?

Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only need one?

27. Why do we drive on a parkway

and park on a driveway?

and last, but not least...

28. Christmas - What other time of the year

do you sit in front of a dead tree

and eat

candy out of your socks?

And there lies my dilemma. How can I sleep when there are so many unanswered questions in the world?

I don't plan on staying awake by myself though...

My dear hubby is going to give some serious thought to these questions too.

Maybe over a bowl of ice cream.

In a crazy world, turned upside-down by earthquakes, hurricanes, unemployement, diseases and illness, remember to take the time to thank God for your blessings.

And don't forget to smile.