Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Lessons Learned in 2010

As we say good-bye to 2010, and usher in yet another year, I'd like to share with you some things that I've had the privilege to learn this year.

1. It does not matter how many times you press the "WALK" button at a crosswalk. It will say "WALK" when it is good and ready. Pounding on it just makes one look stupid. And somebody you know will always recognize you. Wisdom says to let someone else pound on the button.

2. It is never a good idea to test an electric fence with your fingers. Especially when working in the garden. It is also a bad idea to "double check" if you don't get shocked the first time. Electric fences have pulses of electricity that eventually come back around to the very place your finger is touching. Wisdom says to just believe your husband when he says that the fence is on. Or wear rubber boots.

3. Teenagers have not changed too much since I was one. They still step out in front of traffic, believing that cars will stop. Reminding them to look both ways before crossing the street is responded with, "I have the right-a-way." Maybe so, but wisdom says that the car always wins.

4. Simply removing the microwave from the kitchen is not enough to deter the family from using it. Even if it's in the basement. And since it's in the basement, sometimes people have lapses in memory...until a week later, when a putrid odor greets us at the top of the stairs. Wisdom says to just throw the microwave away.

5. Breeding turkeys is easier than one might think. Currently, we have 3 hens setting on one nest. As hatching time draws near, the normally docile hens have become aggressive. Wisdom says that we should eat turkey more often.

6. Never assume that the 10-cent discount at the gas pump will be there when you need to fill up the tank. Wisdom says that teen drivers are very resourceful when it comes to keeping a few extra bucks in their pockets.

7. Weathermen lie. Wisdom says to just look out the window upon waking, and dress accordingly. Usually this means, in layers.

8. Dangling a Snickers bar in front of the treadmill is not a good motivator to keep moving. It's way too easy to just step onto the sides and snatch that candy-bar for a quick snack. Wisdom says to dangle a rutabaga instead.

9. If the eye doctor prescribes glasses to see things more clearly, it's probably a good idea to wear them. There's a huge difference between cooking a pie at 350F. and burning a pie at 450F. Wisdom says to forget vanity and just wear the glasses.

10. Regardless of which cellular phone carrier you may have, the phone always wears out when the contract ends. Wisdom says to pay for the phone and forget the contract. Or just use the land line.

For some reason, I don't feel as if I've arrived at wisdom's door. I may have caught a glimpse of it a couple of times this year, but something tells me that I've got a long ways to go.

So, for 2011, I say...


But slowly, just in case wisdom is on hiatus.