My "Realistic" Goals for 2011

With the passing of 2010, and the ushering in of 2011, it has come to my attention that I need to make my annual New Year's resolutions.

I'm going to do something a little different this year though. For me, making resolutions sets me up for failure. I'm doomed before the clock strikes midnight. The only thing I can be sure of is that my Mister will be there, holding me close and planting a big, juicy kiss on my lips, just as he has for the last 24 years.

One of my favorite poems is by an elderly lady named Nadine Stair. At 85 years young, she wrote a lovely poem about what she would do differently if she had her life to live over. I've decided to apply that to my life in 2011.

With some changes. The italicized words are mine.

If I Had My Life To Live Over

If I Have to Make Another Resolution

I'd dare to make more mistakes next time. I make plenty, but I dare them to try and stop me.

I'd relax. I'd limber up. I'll learn to fall more gracefully and without an audience.

I would be sillier than I have been this trip. I'll try to be more discreet with my giggles.

I would take fewer things seriously. I'll try not to laugh when my children ask for McDonald's or if they can "skip" school.

I would take more chances. I will step on the scale at the doctor's office without first requesting the heaviest nurse they have in the building.

I would take more trips. I'll make sure that my family is with me so it becomes more difficult for me to flee the country.

I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I'll talk about how much I like hiking while soaking in the hot tub and enjoying a nice glass of organic Riesling.

I would eat more ice cream and less beans. I promise to not invent Black Bean Ice Cream. Don't be sad. There is always 2012.

I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I'd have fewer imaginary ones. I'll give myself a reality check at least once per day.

You see, I'm one of those people who live sensibly and sanely, hour after hour, day after day. 

I'll set the DVR and watch American Idol after the vote, just to keep people guessing.

Oh, I've had my moments, and if I had to do it over again, I'd do more of them. In fact, I'd try to have nothing else. Just moments. Actually, I have moments everyday. Moments of insanity. I'll try to smile through more of them.

One after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day. I'll learn to go with the flow, even if the flow washes me out to sea.  

I've been one of those people who never go anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute. I'll only carry my cell phone with Poison Control on speed dial, a camera just in case I need legal proof for anything, a baggy full of organic raisins and my rubber boots. C'mon, I do live in the Pacific Northwest!

If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way until later in the fall. I will proudly wear the garden dirt under my toes in the spring, and will keep an extra pair of flip-flops in the car, just in case the employees at Fred Meyer aren't as amused with my bare, paint-less toes as I am.

If I had to do it again, I'd travel lighter next time. I'll invest in a fanny pack. They're still en vogue right?

I would go to more dances. I'll dance as if no one is watching. Even if I know they are. With their cameras.

I would ride more merry-go-rounds. Only if the carnival guy stops making me stand in front of the "How tall are you?" sign.

I would pick more daisies. Now, that's a resolution I can keep.

Happy New Year!