You Should Know #6...The Real Me

I've got a confession to make. Mostly to myself. And it's monumental. Or just mental. Whatever it is, it took half of a large-sized chocolate bar (It was organic.), and an entire bottle of red wine (It was on sale.) for me to realize...

I forgot who I am. The real me. Not the me who answers to "Honey", "Momma", or "Nana". Not the me who is constantly answering another question as to how I'm feeling. And certainly not the me who stares back in the mirror. I don't know her. She's just, well, she's just old-looking. And tired. So, I decided to have a talk with myself about who I really am in the hopes that maybe, just maybe I'll find myself again without having to get a tattoo on my arm that just says, "Kim".

Here's what I think you (and me) should know about me.

1. I'm a yeller. Growing up in a house of yellers, I decided early on, that I was not going to be one of those parents. Then I became one. Times 9. Not that I'm excusing the yelling, but it's very easy to judge someone whose shoes you've never walked in. So, I'm working on this. The yelling, not the judging. I'm a mess. But, a mess in progress.

2. I don't like meat. There. I've said it. I like to raise it. I like to cook it. But I do not like to eat it. Probably because I have to floss after eating it. And I hate flossing. It's my own act of rebellion. When the dentist asks, I smile and turn it back to him, "What do you think?" He usually tells me what a good job I've been doing and gives me a baggy with an extra toothbrush and, you guessed it, dental floss. I use it to cut cinnamon rolls. It's a win-win.

3. I am a cryer. Oh yes. Whenever I get angry, I cry. Sad? I cry. Sick? Happy? Ecstatic? Yep, crying. I go to Costco for the sole purpose of buying Kleenex in bulk. It makes me so happy to see all those boxes wrapped together in plastic, so I cry. Then I think about all the dolphins that will die because of all the plastic, so I cry a little harder. Which leads me to bust into the bulk wrapping so I can blot and blow. I can no longer shop at our local Hallmark store, because I've blubbered over every card from Congratulations on Your New Baby, to Just Because I Was Thinking of You. I've now resorted to buying blank cards and signing my name next to a hastily scribbled, Happy Birthday. That's it. No sentiment whatsoever. Because I'll cry. And it would smear my signature.

4. I wear bifocals. Well, not really. I got them. I hear they're cute, but I can't see a dang thing with them. And they make me walk like a drunken sailor. I feel like I need Dramamine just to get to the kitchen. Give me a fishing pole and I'd swear I was on a boat in the ocean. I'll probably regret not wearing them someday. But not today. I'm just thankful they haven't made me puke yet.

5. I like to quilt while I watch episodes of House Hunters International. Too bad I have to choose between seeing the television or seeing the quilt stitches. Maybe I should take some Dramamine and put on the bifocals. But that would be too easy, and I like to do things the hard way. Besides, seeing vacation homes in Jamaica may make me start thinking get-rich-quick-Ponzi-scheme. It's best if I just don't see the t.v.

6. My knees knock when I have to stand in front of an audience. Seriously. I sing on the worship team at church and it always feels like my first time. Thankfully, my knees knock to the rhythm of the music, so it's almost like we have a drummer. Almost. A few years ago, I had to give a little speech. My throat dried up, my lips stuck together, and I developed a stutter I didn't previously have. But, if I get to play a character, I have no fear at all. Sometimes it's easier to play someone else than it is to just be me. Next time I have to give a speech, I'm going to pretend to be Ricky and Lucy Ricardo. So I can yell. And cry.

7. I don't particularly like some of the blogs that I follow. Don't get me wrong, I'm probably not talking about you. But when I first started blogging, I followed everyone. I wanted to learn. I needed to know about real, whole foods. I needed to learn how to use a glue gun and make my junk look like something from Pier 1. I wanted to know how (fill in the blank) cleaned her house, schooled her kids, grew her garden, bought a month's worth of groceries with 2 nickels and a prayer, etc...all without yelling. Or crying. I quickly realized that following all of those people made me feel bad about the job I was doing. It wasn't real. Nobody shows the ugly part of living. Because really, who would read it? Food blogs never show the scorched pans. Or the sink full of dirty dishes. The whole food blogs don't share that their kids actually gagged when mom served up Kidney Pie, or Liver & Onions. And they make you believe that a good old tub of Ben & Jerry's has never graced the inside of their freezers. Most home school blogs don't share the fact that little Johnny refused to do his required reading. Or the science experiment failed miserably. They don't show the exhausted mom or dad at the end of a really bad school day. And we all have them. And for goodness sake, groceries cost more than $40/week for a family of 6. It's a fact. Even if you are a vegetarian, home gardening, canner/producer. Toilet paper isn't free. And for a family of 6, that's half the grocery budget right there. I should know. We buy that in bulk too.

8. I don't like to sit in movie theaters. I can't stand the thought of my seat being sat in during a previous showing. That person may have had a cold. Or sticky fingers. Or didn't wash his/her hands after using the public bathroom. I shudder to think what kinds of germs are covering my chair and I spend the entire movie wondering if any of those germs have legs. For that same reason...

9. I don't use public restrooms. Unless it's an emergency. Then I'll only use the bathroom at Lowes. Because it's nice. And clean. And I get some really great decorating ideas while sitting in the stall. I usually feel guilty about just using them for their bathroom, so I end up buying something inexpensive. Like sandpaper. I currently have enough sandpaper to sand down the entire outside walls of our 2-story, 5600 square foot house. Probably the inside too.

10. I am technologically challenged. See that rooster at the top of my page? His name was Elvis. Emphasis on was. He's dead. Coming up on 2 years in fact. We now have another rooster. His name is Moonshine. And he looks nothing like the dead Elvis. But I can't remember how to change the picture at the top of the page. So dead Elvis stays. I spent an entire weekend Swagbucking "How to create new banners for blogs." Which left me yelling at the computer. Then crying. I think there was chocolate involved in there somewhere, but the wine obliterated that memory.

In conclusion, I've decided to dye my hair. Because really, that was all this was about. Finding the real me. Under all that gray.☺

You Should Know...#5~Stupidity in the Store

I hate town. Seriously. I know that town is good for some things, like, coffee and toilet paper, but if I could figure out a way to manufacture my own, I'd never leave the farm. After spending an afternoon dealing with traffic and ignorance, I needed to rant a little.

For the record, pigs are very good listeners. Especially if they are snacking on expired yogurt.

You know those moments where someone says something stupid and the only comeback you can come up with happens 3 hours after the incident? Well, I had several of those. On the same day.

Here's what I think you should know that I would've said...

...had I thought of them sooner...

1. "Why would anyone pay $4/lb for organic when the same apples over there are only $.99/lb.?"

My organic $4/lb. apples are less expensive than your venti Caramel Frappuccino and have the added bonus of not making me fat. Or diabetic. 

2. "You know, the store provides plastic bags for your produce. Then you won't have to worry about all the germs in your cart."

Because you coughing into your hand, then touching 3 different heads of lettuce before finding the 1 you wanted, wasn't gross enough? I'll take my chances with the cart.

3. "Would you like paper or plastic?"

What part of those 10 reusable grocery bags that I hauled in do you not understand?

4. "Oh you should taste the red ones." (I think I must have scowled at her before she continued.) "They expect people to taste the grapes before they buy them. Why else would they not seal the bags?"

Stupid woman. That is called stealing. In every country. And every store.

5. "My son has been in detention twice already. I just don't know what his problem is!"

Try looking in your cart. I think you could eliminate the problem by putting the Capt'n Crunch, and Frosted Flakes back onto the shelf. Maybe that big jug of chocolate milk will follow once it loses its friends...

6. "I don't eat fat."

Sweetheart, those Oreos aren't carrots. Neither is the Haggen Das.

7. "...and then he told me if I wasn't willing to compromise on...."

Let me guess. You're having a hard time sharing the space in the bed. Or the couch. Because you sure as heck aren't sharing the aisle with anyone else.

8. "Making my own laundry soap is just too @!#$#% expensive! And there's never any coupons for those ingredients."

Yet you just put 2 large bottles of Tide in your cart, for a total of $34. Oh, sorry, I forgot you had a $.50 off coupon. That made it much better. Smart thinking.

9. "Sorry. I didn't know my coupons were for specific sizes."

No problem. I'll just wait while the courtesy clerk goes and grabs all 23 of the correct items for you. I've got nothing better to do. Really. I could stand here all day....

And my very favorite from my grocery trip...

10. "Cows don't eat grass, stupid." (Not said to me, but her friend.)

This is from the generation that is going to be taking care of me in my old age.

I won't even mention the car full of teenage boys who ran a stop sign, causing me to slam on my brakes and cry out, "Sweet Jesus, make it quick!"

Those boys were so friendly, they gave me a one-finger wave out all 4 of their windows.

Maybe there is still hope for mankind after all...

#4~You Should Know...

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Country Folk and Their "Issues"

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Seriously. 

 

Dear Mr. Mailman,

     Maybe you and I got off on the wrong foot. I know that sometimes I forget to stand my outgoing mail up in the box, or fail to raise the flag, or even inform you of my up-coming vacation plans. I understand the spot you are in working for the federal government and all, but out here in the country, mailboxes share the responsibility of delivering goods to us. You are part of the USPS. We country folk are part of the JBNDS, or the "Just Being Neighborly Delivery System".

     In the summer, a mailbox doubles as a neighborhood delivery system, sans the postage. A large enough box can hold a couple of dozen farm fresh chicken eggs or a basketful of sun-ripened tomatoes. It can hold the still warm-from-the-oven cinnamon rolls that the neighbor placed in the box as payment for the honey she received the day before. It's a convenient place to leave a note for the farmer who is in the middle of haying his fields, and a mailbox is just the right size to hold a  bouquet of dandelions that a 10 year old boy might want to surprise his momma with.

     In the winter, a mailbox is great way to dole out those last minute Christmas cards. And it keeps the fancy government "decorations" off the front so one can actually enjoy the pretty stickers that the kids decorated the envelopes with. Of course, the no-postage cards usually have a tray of home-baked Christmas cookies attached to them, and really, it's the only way to guarantee a before-Christmas delivery what with the last minute rushing and all. (It also shaves a little time off your already busy schedule!)

     I realize that mailboxes were only meant to house mail that has gone through the proper channels. But out here in the country, a mailbox is like a big, metal present just waiting to be opened. See, we're pretty excited to see a truck or tractor pull up next to the mailbox. Us country folk know that it is unlikely we'll run to the box, only to discover our neighbors have left us with bills or late notices for the 'lectricity. It's just as unlikely that they'll have dropped off their junk mail for us to plunder through. The anticipation of what goodie might be waiting is almost too much to bear as we make the long walk to the box.

    I understand that to city folk, leaving something other than mail in the box might be considered a criminal act. And having seen those teensy, tiny wall-mounted boxes, one would be hard-pressed to fit anything other than a couple of envelopes into them anyway. I'm supposin' it might leave a mess if the wrong thing were to be stuffed in there, hence the reason to impose such rules regarding the contents of said box. But I don't live in the city. Nor do I have a teensy, tiny wall-mounted mailbox. I have an extra large box, to hold an extra large amount of tomatoes, and I purchased it with my Mister's very own money.

     As a citizen of this here country, I appreciate it when criminals are prosecuted to the full extent of the law. But, I don't think you are aware of what constitutes a criminal offense out here. A teenager taking a baseball bat to my mailbox would be considered a criminal act. A person using the mailbox as a dumping ground for his/her empty Starbucks cup, would be a criminal act in my book. And as any up-standing, true-blue, country person will tell you, it is downright criminal for anyone to leave their extra zucchini's in a neighbor's mailbox. It just ain't considered neighborly at all! Real country folk know to leave extra zucchini's inside a stranger's parked car at the grocery store (and RUN!) anyway! I will support you prosecuting those dastardly zucchini dumpers as far as the law will allow!

     What I don't consider a criminal act is when the paperman, of whose job is a lot like yours (minus the health benefits and 401K), places my newspaper inside my mailbox, while it's raining.

     We country folk just call that being kind.

     But because we appreciate you Mr. Mailman, we have listened. And we have conformed. Maybe not willingly, but it is done.

You may not know this Mr. Mailman, but gone are the days when the local newspaper provided a box for the paper. Also gone, is the ability to purchase a box from the local hardware store. So, Mr. Mailman, we built our own country kind of paperbox from a drain pipe, a cap, 2 screws, and leftover spray paint. For free.

I understand the rivalry between delivery systems, but since the mail vs. paper dilemma is now resolved,  I'd really appreciate it if you could just scoot the mail towards the back of the mailbox tomorrow.

This farmgirl is expecting a delivery of honey from the JBNDS and I'd hate to get honey on my mail.

Sincerely, Me

P.S. If you find a steaming cup of cocoa in the mailbox on our first snowy day of winter, that's for you Mr. Mailman. But maybe we should just keep that between us.☺

This post is linked to Farmgirl Fridays.

Lessons Learned Over the Past Week

I haven't done a post like this in awhile and quite frankly, I've got a few things on my mind.

After I share them with you, they'll be on yours too.

Then maybe we'll be able to "put them in a bubble and let them blow away on the wind."

Please allow me to apologize in advance if any of these ruins your appetite.

1. Not only do I not like low-rider jeans, I do not enjoy following a woman who is determined to fit into a pair...even if she can't fit all of her into them. It gives new meaning to the term, "Crack kills." When she bent over in front of me, I may or may not have let out a little scream.

2. A peanut butter and raspberry jam sandwich has magical powers. It doesn't matter how bad a day can be going, bite into an old-fashioned PB&J and the day gets promisingly better. Add milk and lives change. Why has lunch gotten so complicated?

3. Turkeys are idiots. After setting on about 30 eggs for the past month, my "girls" smashed all of their newly hatched babies. With 1 egg remaining, my children decided to rescue it and place it in the incubator. Problem is, daddy and mommy went on an anniversary road trip for the week and the kids headed to cousin's and grandparents homes. Who's the idiot now? On second thought, don't answer that.

4. Mexican restaurant decor freaks me out a little. Not that I don't enjoy the food, mind you, but the decor really grates on my nerves. I like bright colors. I can handle the Sombrero's hanging on the radioactive orange walls. What I cannot seem to get past are the pretend parrots hanging from the ceilings. I thought it was just our local restaurants that did this, but apparently, it's the norm. This said however, real parrots hovering over my table would really send me over the edge.

5. Because we've gone away to celebrate our 24 years together, you'd think I would have shopped for  romantic, anniversary attire. Instead I bought a travel pillow, just in case the hotel pillows were not quite right. (Which they weren't...good thing I'm a planner and a doer.)

Don't worry about the Mister though. I got him one too.

Yep. I definitely feel better. Thanks for listening.

Lessons Learned in 2010

As we say good-bye to 2010, and usher in yet another year, I'd like to share with you some things that I've had the privilege to learn this year.

1. It does not matter how many times you press the "WALK" button at a crosswalk. It will say "WALK" when it is good and ready. Pounding on it just makes one look stupid. And somebody you know will always recognize you. Wisdom says to let someone else pound on the button.

2. It is never a good idea to test an electric fence with your fingers. Especially when working in the garden. It is also a bad idea to "double check" if you don't get shocked the first time. Electric fences have pulses of electricity that eventually come back around to the very place your finger is touching. Wisdom says to just believe your husband when he says that the fence is on. Or wear rubber boots.

3. Teenagers have not changed too much since I was one. They still step out in front of traffic, believing that cars will stop. Reminding them to look both ways before crossing the street is responded with, "I have the right-a-way." Maybe so, but wisdom says that the car always wins.

4. Simply removing the microwave from the kitchen is not enough to deter the family from using it. Even if it's in the basement. And since it's in the basement, sometimes people have lapses in memory...until a week later, when a putrid odor greets us at the top of the stairs. Wisdom says to just throw the microwave away.

5. Breeding turkeys is easier than one might think. Currently, we have 3 hens setting on one nest. As hatching time draws near, the normally docile hens have become aggressive. Wisdom says that we should eat turkey more often.

6. Never assume that the 10-cent discount at the gas pump will be there when you need to fill up the tank. Wisdom says that teen drivers are very resourceful when it comes to keeping a few extra bucks in their pockets.

7. Weathermen lie. Wisdom says to just look out the window upon waking, and dress accordingly. Usually this means, in layers.

8. Dangling a Snickers bar in front of the treadmill is not a good motivator to keep moving. It's way too easy to just step onto the sides and snatch that candy-bar for a quick snack. Wisdom says to dangle a rutabaga instead.

9. If the eye doctor prescribes glasses to see things more clearly, it's probably a good idea to wear them. There's a huge difference between cooking a pie at 350F. and burning a pie at 450F. Wisdom says to forget vanity and just wear the glasses.

10. Regardless of which cellular phone carrier you may have, the phone always wears out when the contract ends. Wisdom says to pay for the phone and forget the contract. Or just use the land line.

For some reason, I don't feel as if I've arrived at wisdom's door. I may have caught a glimpse of it a couple of times this year, but something tells me that I've got a long ways to go.

So, for 2011, I say...

BRING IT ON!

But slowly, just in case wisdom is on hiatus.



Humble Pie for One

As a stay-at-home mom, I rarely have occasions to dress up. Face it, it makes no sense to put too much effort into my wardrobe to chase the cows, pull some weeds, or stack some firewood.

Give me some sweatpants or blue jeans and I'm good to go.

Even though my skirts are crying out for me to show them a little love, on most days, it just doesn't make sense.

The exceptions to that are Sunday's and grocery shopping day.

In the summer, I ALWAYS wear skirts to town. ALWAYS. Skirts provide a cool breeze and have the added benefit of covering my legs if I neglected to shave.

I know. Too much information.

When wearing my skirts, I feel feminine. And if I'm not in too big of a hurry to escape...I mean, get to town before the rush...I may even apply make-up.

With my latte in one hand and grocery list in the other, I'm set. I'm feeling good and looking groomed.

Today while shopping, one of the grocery store cashiers paid me a compliment. Sometimes I do get compliments. Usually they have something to do with how organized I am with my list attached to a clipboard, but today it was about me. She told me I was a "very pretty lady...a real natural beauty".

Ummm...okay. Apparently she didn't notice the 3 layers of spackle on my face.

But, like a hungry lion, I ate up that compliment, and waited for more. I stood a little taller. I felt good.

But God, in His infinite wisdom, created humbleness.

And He decided to use it on me today.

In fact, He served a big slice of it on a platter.

I cannot show you the picture because this is NOT one of those kinds of websites.

I'm not even sure that I should share this with you.

But, there were witnesses. It's out there now. You have the right to know.

As I walked to my car, I noticed a couple of other people looking my way. "Wow", I thought, "I must really look good today."

I may have been strutting.

Then I looked down.

Tangled in my necklace was the underwire to my bra.

Sticking right out of the top of my tank top.

I'm currently in the market for a new home...preferably somewhere overseas.

And lest you be scarred for life, I'll leave you with some happy thoughts.

And what's truly beautiful.

A creek after the rain subsides

Grandchildren

Returning soldiers

The beach after a storm

Beauty is a sunrise that you were privileged to be awake for.

Gluten-free Carrot Muffins

For the last few weeks, produce has been scarce. The local farmer's market has had fresh spring greens and a little asparagus, but not much else.

Until last Saturday.

That's when I hit the mother load.

Fresh, organic carrots and some zucchini added a little variety to the meal plan for the week. We used the zucchini in a frittata, and today enjoyed the carrots in a new muffin recipe.

The great thing about this recipe is that it is "substitution friendly". Instead of carrots, zucchini could be used. Grate some apples, add an overripe banana or canned pineapple for a different flavor.

No matter what you add, this will still be gluten free!

Unless of course, you add wheat.

Then all bets are off.

Gluten-Free Carrot Muffins

2 cups gluten-free flour (I used Bob's Redmill)

1 t. xanthum gum (this acts like gluten and holds the ingredients together)

1 Tb. flaxseed meal

3 1/2 t. GF baking powder

1/2 t. sea salt

1/2 t. cinnamon

1/4 cup sucanat or light brown sugar

1 egg

1 1/4 cup milk

1/4 c. unsweetened applesauce

1 cup grated carrot

1/2 cup chopped walnuts or pecans

Sift dry ingredients together in a large bowl.

Mix egg, milk and applesauce together in a small bowl.

Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and mix only until combined. The batter will be lumpy.

Fold in the carrots and nuts.

Fill greased muffin cups about 2/3 full.

Bake in 400F. preheated oven for 20 minutes.

Cool for 2 minutes before removing from pan.

These are great with cream cheese!

Enjoy!

More Ramblings

At the moment, the sun is shining.

And my youngest son is not accomplishing much in his math today.

In fact, I have had to remove myself from the table at which he sits, for his own safety.

Since he would bolt from the table if I were to go out and enjoy the sunshine, I've decided to spend a little extra time in the kitchen.

Where I can keep at least one eye on him.

One of my favorite blogs is Heavenly Homemakers. Laura always has some great recipes that are easy and nutritious.

At least that's what I keep telling myself.

Today, I made chocolate chips. From scratch. (Healthy and nutritious...another reason to have my chocolate and eat it too!)


All in all, these are pretty good. It took me the equivalent of 2 candy bars to come to this conclusion, so I consider myself somewhat of an expert now.

An expert who forgot to add the vanilla.

If you try these, don't forget the vanilla, and remember that the sucanat doesn't dissolve the way sugar does. Spread the sucanat out evenly so that you don't have too much bittersweet chocolate.

Truthfully, in a cookie, it shouldn't matter. And to prove my point, I'll be making these later!

My family deserves to know the truth.

I also made 3 loaves of sourdough bread, which turned out perfectly, despite the fact that I forgot to set the timer.

This is my creme freche. Well, technically, it's still a blob of cultured half & half, but in a few hours it will be a delicious condiment.

And a salad dressing ingredient for tonight.

If I don't forget.

I'll try to answer a couple of questions I received about the greenhouse.

Try being the operative word.

The dimensions are 8'x14'. There are doors at each end with vents above them.

This is where we transition plants that are getting ready to be planted in the garden. It gets good morning sun and the heat from the greenhouse keeps the plants from being shocked.

There are benches on both sides the run the entire length of the greenhouse. Our plan is to remove the benches from the left side and build a raised bed on the floor so we can grow tomatoes year-round.

I have a small, solid work area on the other side. This is where I mix up the fertilizer, write on tags and keep my tools/gloves. We're going to cut a piece of pegboard to fit, so we'll have a place to hang the tools.

When it gets too warm, we open the top of the back door and leave the front open to keep the plants from scorching. And believe me, it can get hot in there!

My Mister also built a nice stand that we can mount a box fan onto for air flow. In the winter, we use a small propane heater.

We have fluorescent lights that are run individually, so only the ones we need are turned on.

We always have a thermometer in the greenhouse. Our goal is to keep the temperature between 75 and 82 degrees. It can creep up pretty quickly without a visual reminder!

Looking at the pictures is also a good reminder that the little greenhouse is getting a little greener than normal. Yes, even greenhouses get baths.

*As I finish this, the sun has disappeared. In its place....snow!

I'm guessing that my son is NOT going to finish his math.

Random Ramblings

A few days ago, a cyber-friend from down south ( way down south), made a comment about how green Washington state is.


The reason? Rain. Lots and lots of rain.


But with the rain, comes rainbows.


Lots and lots of rainbows.

With the rainbows, come sunshine.

Not lots and lots, but some.

Enough for my boys to take the dirt bikes out and get, well, dirty.

And with the dirty, comes laundry.

Lots and lots and lots and lots of laundry.

And with the laundry, comes our new and improved laundry room.

Here are the after pictures....now if only there were someone, besides me, who would do the boys' laundry. That would be perfect.

Now you see it....

...now you don't...

My Saturday project...

A place for my apron collection.

It's hard to tell, but the top color is a happy daffodil yellow.

And like a daffodil, this room makes me happy.

Babbling Brunette...Oxymorons

Sometimes, I have a hard time falling asleep.

There's a lot going on in my head.

Forget the blankie, I sleep with a notepad and pencil.

It can get dangerous.

Thought I had it under control.

Then my dear husband sent me this...

Oxymoron's

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is "out of whack"? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do tug boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game"

when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do overlook and oversee mean the opposite things?

15. Why is phonics not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control

when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags

and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels?

Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only need one?

27. Why do we drive on a parkway

and park on a driveway?

and last, but not least...

28. Christmas - What other time of the year

do you sit in front of a dead tree

and eat

candy out of your socks?

And there lies my dilemma. How can I sleep when there are so many unanswered questions in the world?

I don't plan on staying awake by myself though...

My dear hubby is going to give some serious thought to these questions too.

Maybe over a bowl of ice cream.

In a crazy world, turned upside-down by earthquakes, hurricanes, unemployement, diseases and illness, remember to take the time to thank God for your blessings.

And don't forget to smile.