Gratituesday~Fear, Faith, Family, & Friends

This post is going to be a little different than my normal, dorky posts. Instead of sharing a recipe or another picture of my granddaughters, I thought I'd share a little of what has been going on for the past couple of days.

Besides this...

And this...

Sorry, I couldn't help myself.☺

As those who have been reading my ramblings for any length of time know, I had strep throat this past summer. It hit hard & fast, leaving me sick enough for a trip to the emergency room. My Mister is an RN in the ER, and was a little surprised to get the page that his wife was in one of the rooms. Because I was so sick, a CT scan was ordered to make sure I didn't have an abscess in my throat. I didn't care one way or another, I just wanted to die. Literally. (I'm a little bit of a baby, just so ya know.) The Dr. came back with some good news~"No abscess!"

Those who know me also know that I am an optimist by nature...with life experience, so when the Dr. says "Good news!", I say, "But...?"

This was no exception. I called it.

The "but" happened to be a growth that was discovered on my thyroid, one that would probably not have been caught if it weren't for the strep throat. That said, it took me 4 WHOLE MONTHS to get up the courage to follow up with an ultrasound.

4 WHOLE MONTHS.

Because I was afraid.

Only a few people knew that I needed an ultrasound because I didn't want to worry anyone. I didn't want to appear weak, and I didn't want it to be anything bad. Not that my procrastination would change the outcome, but it would just prolong me having to deal with it. Make sense? It did to me.

Last week I finally got up the courage to make the appointment. And I told no one except my Mister and a couple of my older girls.

And then I stayed awake for 4 days straight. Well, almost. I looked and felt like death.

And I felt alone.

I also don't remember saying a single prayer during those 4 days. I didn't want to acknowledge that I wasn't in control of this situation. I wanted only to wallow in my misery, expecting the worst, but hoping for something "not terrible".

My faith was non-existent.

While I was getting ready for my appointment, the words, you're not alone kept coming to me. While raising a large family has been the most fulfilling thing I've ever done, it doesn't leave much time for a social life. Because we are an adoptive family, we took on not just the present and future of our children, but also the past. And some of their pasts aren't pretty. For the last 10 years we've been a little too preoccupied to nuture relationships with people who aren't depending on us for their care. And those few relationships that we do have, they understand. Probably because they've seen first-hand what our lives are truly like. Needless to say, in order to keep in touch with family and friends, I depend a lot on email and Facebook. (Rarely do I have a real telephone conversation~there are just too many crisis' that happen when the phone rings!)

Before my appointment, I posted on Facebook that the Dr. had found a growth on my thyroid, and I could really use some extra prayers. And then I headed to town. I didn't expect anyone other than my sisters to comment, and even then I was expecting to get my butt chewed out for telling them on Facebook! Oops.

While the radiologist was performing the ultrasound, I started to panic. I'm not prone to panicking unless company is coming and the floors haven't been vacuumed, but there I was, lying on a flat metal bed, icy cold, barely able to breathe. The radiologist asked me several time if I was okay, to which I replied with a croak and a nod.

Then it happened.

Warmth. Calm. Steady breathing. Peace. For 40 minutes I laid there, in a semi-comatose state, feeling like I was under a warm blanket on my cozy bed.

Then it was over. With my Mister driving, we headed home; he to tinker around with a vacuum cleaner, and me to play with my granddaughters.

Later, when I checked my email, I had an entire page of Facebook notifications. Curious, I opened FB. While I was lying on that hard bed in the hospital's imaging clinic, unable to breathe, there were people praying. Twenty three to be exact. The bible says, "Where 2 or 3 are gathered in my name, there am I." (Matt. 18:20)

And He was.

So today and always, I am grateful for my family and friends who pray me through the hard stuff. Because of their faith, I have mine again. No matter what the test results reveal.

And...I am not alone.

(I'll let you know the result when I get them!)

This post is linked to Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers.

Grateful for Different-ness

"If a man loses pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away."

~Henry David Thoreau~

In most areas of my life, I am different. Not a weird, wear-my-underwear-on-my-head, or a People of Walmart.com kind of "different", just different. I don't really fit into the world's mold of what they think a modern day momma should be, and unless I'm speaking to a cow, my conversations could be interpreted as bizarre. It usually isn't something I give much thought to because I'm comfortable in my own barn boots. But...

Sometimes I long for a moment where I can carry on a conversation about the newest fashions to hit the runway.

My current train of thought is on the dependability and shrinkage potential of flannel, and how popular it will become if only Heidi Klum would wear it on her runway.

Sometimes I think I'd like to spend an entire day window shopping at the mall.

And not wonder if there's a Cabela's nearby.

I think I'd like to open the refrigerator and grab a ready-to-eat snack and eat it while standing over the kitchen sink someday.

Currently, I have to factor in thawing, grinding, soaking, kneading, and cooking times. By then, I've forgotten why I wandered into the kitchen to begin with.

I dream of going into a real old-fashioned butcher shop and having my speciality cuts of meat handed to me already cut and wrapped.

Without having to pluck it myself first.

Someday I hope to have my teenage years relived by adding my favorite 80's music to my Ipod.

That is, after I figure out how to get the increasingly annoying music of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore off to make room for Van Halen and Fleetwood Mac.

I dream of wearing fancy dresses and learning how to dance the Viennese Waltz with my Mister.

Right now, our only dance is what happens when we forget to smoke the bees.

And forget about wearing a fancy dress.

Sometimes I want to chase down the school bus as it speeds past my house in the morning and holler, "Hey! You forgot some!"

Then I realize that the bus driver is speeding past my house because he knows how many children live there. (Or used to.)

I dream of pedi's and mani's with my girlfriends, of hair salons that refuse to accept coupons, and dates with my Mister that don't include our weekly trip to the recycling center.

Then I realize that being different makes me unique. No, you won't find me getting my toes all polished up in a fancy salon, and you won't see me sending my kids to school just to blend in with what everyone else is doing. You won't see me getting all gussied-up in an overpriced fancy dress, and while my kitchen may not have any ready-to-eat-[going-to-kill-you-eventually] foods, it does have a lot of ingredients. The reality of my life is simple. It makes me happy and I like it that way.

 I also like to shop at Cabela's. In my flannel shirt.

"Some people hear their own inner voices with great clearness, and they live by what they hear. Such people become crazy...

...or they become legend.

~The movie, Legends of the Fall~

This post is linked to Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers

And...

The Homestead Barn Hop

Gratituesday~My College Graduate

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Valerie who loved adventure.

Valerie and Melissa

She loved her family.

A trip to the zoo~2007

 

She eventually fell in love and married Jake.

 

Jake returning from Iraq.

 

But Valerie also loved to learn. After 17 years of homeschool academia, she went on to learn some more. From teachers who knew more than how to dissect a frog, or how to diagram a sentence. Knew more about paper writing, mathematical equations, and sociological issues.  People who didn't know that Valerie once read through the letter "I" in the most popular series by Britannica. People who didn't know how seriously Valerie took her college classes or how many hours she actually spent studying for each one. People who didn't know that Valerie loved adventure, her family, or her Jake. People who knew only one thing.

 

Graduating with honors and two degrees, they knew that Valerie was going to make one heck of an amazing nurse.

 

 

Just as her first teachers knew all those years ago.

 

Two generations of RN's

Congratulations to the newest nurse in the family, Valerie D., RN!

"Train up a child in the way the way he should go and when he is old, he shall not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

 

 

This post is linked to Heavenly Homemakers Gratituesdays.

Gratituesday~A Day at the Beach

I've had an illness for the last several months.

It causes the fingers to itch, the toes to dig into the carpet, and the nose to press against the coolness of a window pane...any pane really, as long as there's a view.

Very contagious, you'll know you've caught it when the fever spikes.

You're children are probably infected too. 

In fact, there is only one way to get rid of this mysterious illness that has been running rampant since October. 

Long Beach, Washington

It's called Spring Fever and the only known cure is a little Vitamin D!

Matthew and Momma

Because it is Matthew's birthday, we decided to get cured at the beach.



We visited the mounds of oyster shells in Oysterville.

"What is that smell?"



We played at the historic covered bridge in Grays River.

"Do you think this was built for the covered wagons?"

We laughed as the boys "ran towards the light"...



The wooden decking makes for a great race track.



...then watched as the birthday boy beat his older brother in a foot race.

Sounds pretty cool too, especially when combined with laughter.

We visited whale bones and made up stories of what really happened to Moby Dick.





And we chased around a 16 year old who was very concerned about the wind in her hair.

Poor Mandie!

But mostly, today was about just spending time...



Heather & Momma

...together.

Tanner & Matthew discussing "just stuff".



It's a good thing that the weatherman is predicting sunshine for the remainder of the week.

We're definitely going to need a second and third dose of the "D"!


This post is linked to Heavenly Homemakers Gratituesday.

The Air I Breathe...

I wanted to name this post, "If I Only Had a Million Dollars", but somehow that didn't seem like an attitude of gratitude.

I mean, we're supposed to be content and bloom where we're planted, right?

Then I realized that I'm blooming right down the road from one of the prettiest places I've ever seen.

And I can visit it whenever I want to.

For free.

This is an old homestead that at best guess, was probably built in the late 1800's. The old farmhouse and barn are long gone, but some of the outbuildings are still there.

Site of the old barn that burned down a few years ago.

An old hay storage shed is still standing though.

The old hog house and chicken coop are still standing, but barely.


So is what appears to be an old outhouse!


The Mister and the Son-in-law, shooting the breeze on a Sunday afternoon.


The old butchering area has seen better days, but there was a pile of bones still there.

The family standing in front of the old root cellar.

Or what was left of it.

This little creek helped keep the temperature in the root cellar cool.

Now it's just a fun place to play on a warm, summer day.

And it's a place where we'll spend a lot of time.

And continue to dream....

Please join us for Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers.

Gratituesday...A Returning Soldier & Gardening

I feel very blessed today.

This morning, I was serenaded by a Pavorotti-in-the-making, otherwise known as Frisky Biscuit, who thinks "he's all that".

Until someone had to help him down.

How embarrassing for him.

I went out to the greenhouse to water the seedlings and found that a salad will be on next week's menu plan!

And discovered that tomatoes will not.

This is a month's worth of growth. I can feel my thumb turning brown....

I feel blessed that we have a local farmer's market that just happened to have an older lady selling heirloom tomato plants. Most people are waiting until May to set theirs out.

Because the sun is shining, I made a little stop at the garden center to pick up a few more plants...

With fish fertilizer and a little love, my $6 worth of plants will put the $30 hanging baskets to shame! (At least, that's the plan!)

I feel blessed that our transplanted climbing roses didn't suffer from shock and are happily reaching heavenward.

I feel blessed that we had some dirt and a little grass seed to patch up all the holes from dogs and moles!

I also feel blessed that nobody thus far has twisted their ankles in these holes.

I feel blessed that this little bed has been weeded by my son and is waiting for the artichokes to be planted.

My daughter, Heather, blessed me by planting different mints again and asking if this could be her very own garden.

I feel blessed that she likes to get creative in the garden and figured out a way to train the sweet peas to grab onto the fence. (These are hazelnut suckers that she weaved into the fence.)

I feel blessed to have a husband who shares my vision for self-sufficiency and organic farming.

This is one of the two beds he built...

...before realizing that 2 wouldn't be enough!

And finally, I feel blessed, privileged and honored to welcome home our son-in-law, who has been in Iraq for the last 8+ months.

Even if he couldn't stop kissing our daughter.

I feel blessed to be in on the surprise that not everyone was privy to!

Welcome home Jake.